The Vanishing Tea Bag and Other Musings from a Typical Morning With Low Vision

(Note: Fans of the movie, “Inside Out”, I have a fun little story for you today! As you may know, the movie is based on “Internal Family Systems” a therapy model that invites you to go inward and explore how all the different parts of you are thinking and feeling. The movie depicted the parts as “emotions” like joy, anger, sadness and disgust, which is often how parts show up. In this short recap of my morning, I note the differences in how parts of me are feeling about the same situation.)

Joy, 9-year-old daughter and guided dog walk uphill toward school.

“Shall I bring my chai tea with me?” I pondered this morning (because one always uses words like ‘shall’ and ‘ponder’ at 7:15am while trying to get out the door to walk your 3rd grader to school). Anyone who uses a cane or guide dog understands the need for just ONE more hand to carry objects or hold the hand of your child since one hand is always grasping the handle of a cane or harness. But alas, there were no extra hands to be found, as my husband left early this morning and my daughter needed to pull her wheeled backpack on our 20 minute uphill route to school. Plus, I reminded myself, my daughter would not be with me on the way back down the hill after dropping her off at her classroom, so I really couldn’t ask her to carry anything extra.

It was the warm, smooth feel of the piping hot travel mug on a cool California morning that made the final decision. The mug of sweet, spicy chai with a slight boost of caffeine was coming with me. Sure, I would have no extra hand to leash cue my guide dog, check my phone (which lay snugly in my small crossover coin purse draped over my shoulders), nor press the traffic light button. And it would take some fancy handy-work to reach into my sweatshirt pocket for kibble to treat my guided dog, Roja, at corners. But having that steaming cup of tea on this gray morning would be worth it.

My 9-year-old, who transforms into a chatterbox of theories on everything from how french fries probably got their name to whether life on other planets exists, and I strolled casually up the hill, talking away. Until we were about 2 blocks from the school and realized we only had 5 minutes to make it the rest of the way. So we paused the philosophizing and started walking at a brisk pace.

After hugging her goodbye with 30 seconds to spare, Roja and I began the trek back home, and it was only then that I realized I hadn’t even taken a sip of my chai tea yet. Not wanting to waste my efforts, I decided I better make carrying it worth it and take a sip. Apparently it must be a very insulated travel mug, as the tea was still hot enough to burn my lip. I left the lid slightly open as I walked to help cool it down, splashing little bits of chai on myself as I walked. After several minutes, it was cool enough to sip (hooray!) It had also steeped for 25 minutes and was extremely strong. So I halted Roja again and took the tea bag out.

But what to do with the dripping wet tea bag? The lazy part of me was tempted to just toss it in the grass to the side of the walkway, but the conscientious part of me didn’t want to litter (plus, there were a million cars driving in and out of the school car line who could easily see me tossing trash to the side and pass judgment). Since I still didn’t have a 3rd hand to carry anything else with, I strategically maneuvered my fingers to grasp both the mug and the dripping tea bag at once. I was sure there would be a garbage can somewhere on the route home.

With mug, tea bag and harness handle in hands, Roja and I continued our walk down the hill. Until several steps later when Roja made it clear she needed to relieve. I carefully set down the mug and tea bag, lifted her harness off her and took her to the grassy area next to the sidewalk. Roja did her business and, after sniffing around for a couple minutes, was ready to work again. I picked up the tea bag, mug, harness handle and leash and headed for the stoplight, where I managed to drop the handle and hold the leash with my arm while pressing the walk signal. As we waited for the light to change, I felt my purse vibrating and realized I was getting a call. I knew I could ignore it but the anxious part of me that remembered how an ambulance came to the school just yesterday due to a playground injury didn’t want to miss the call. Again, I held the leash with my arm, fumbled to give Roja a quick treat for stopping at the corner, unzipped my little crossover purse and answered my phone. It was an ad. I quickly stuffed it back in, realizing it was time to cross the street, picked up the handle and gave Roja the forward command. Having walked this route many times, I knew there were garbage cans near the shops I was nearing but couldn’t remember exactly where.

“Roja, find garbage,” I said, not quite sure if we were that close to one. Apparently we were not, as she just kept walking. Then I remembered the garbage at the corner near the pool. “Roja right”

Finally, the garbage can was just steps away, and I could responsibly throw away my chai tea bag without littering. I dropped the leash handle for a moment and grabbed the long string dangling from the soggy mass. Only it slipped through my fingers on to the ground. For anyone with 180 degrees of vision, this little drop would be no big deal. You would simply glance down, pick up the tea bag, toss it in the can and be on your way. But for anyone with sight loss, you understand the utter frustration of kneeling down and feeling all around for something you JUST had, only to find it has vanished from existence. Seriously? Did I just walk 20 minutes downhill grasping this dripping thing so that I could properly dispose of it, only to drop it on a cement sidewalk where one of our many neighborhood dogs could come upon it and get ill from ingesting it. The irritated, impatient part of me just wanted to forget about it and walk home. Dogs eat weird crap all the time. Would a chai tea bag really be so bad?

But that annoying, responsible part of me who speaks up at the very worst times required me to keep kneeling, sweeping my hand all around me in search of the tea bag. I shifted my weight slightly to readjust and pick Roja’s leash back up, as she had started to wander and felt something under my foot. Could it be? Could this search finally be over so I could return home and get to work?

I was never so happy to feel a cold, damp clump in my hands!

I tossed it in the garbage, picked up the handle and walked home. As I walked in my front door, the same place where only about an hour earlier I had made the split second decision to bring my mug of tea with me, I took my 3rd sip of tea. “Totally worth it,” the grateful part of me thought. All other parts remained silent.

Almost Famous

This week, I had the pleasure of co-presenting at the Spring ADA Paratransit Conference with my friend and fellow blogger Keith Edgerton.  I felt instantly at ease alongside this seasoned public speaker as we shared our experiences of using public transportation with visual impairment.  Each year a transit authority from one of Washington’s Counties puts on the event.  39 out of 40 counties were represented at this conference held in my hometown of Leavenworth.  Talk about a short commute!

Blog Photo

Photo Description: Jenelle (left) and Keith (right) standing outside in Leavenworth with the Cascade Mountains in the background. Continue reading “Almost Famous”

5 Things the Online Community Taught Us About Blindness (Happy 5th Anniversary Doublevisionblog!)

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So much has transpired in the last 5 years of blogging together.  Our perspectives have shifted dramatically.  If you look at one of our very first posts, “To Tell or Not to Tell”, about whether to disclose our vision loss in public, to more recent posts about guide dogs and canes, the shift is obvious.  But it didn’t happen overnight.  And it didn’t happen without a lot of input and support from friends we met in the online community.

2011-2012:  We’re not alone.  Between our readers, Facebook groups and fellow bloggers’ posts, we discovered a whole new “blogosphere” of people with Retinitis Pigmentosa and other conditions.  It was this connection that pushed us to keep writing, keep exploring, and keep discovering new things about ourselves and the unique world of vision loss.

2012-2013:  There’s a lot more to life than going blind.  If you look at our archives, you’ll notice this is the year we took a little hiatus.  Jenelle had her second baby, Joy started working on other writing projects, and life got busy.  We took a little break from both writing and reading vision-related blogs for awhile, realizing that there are so many more aspects to our lives than vision.  But when we picked back up and started writing consistently again, we were once again greeted with enthusiasm and encouragement.

2013-2014: The blind community is as diverse as the general population. Blindness is something that crosses all cultures, age groups, genders, and socioeconomic levels.  Consequently, the personalities, likes, dislikes, hobbies, views, etc. are extremely diverse.  This was the year we really began discovering the wide array of people in the blind blogosphere.  We have had the privilege of connecting with a multitude of interesting, yet often very different friends in the online blind community, including blind active mama friends, crafty comrades  adventurous, witty intellectualsartsy, clever New Yorkers, blind Canadian advocates, bold blind fashionistas, and let us not forget our guy-friend blogger and his amazing TEDtalk. And this just scratches the surfaces of interests, personalities and geographic locations.  IMG_3646

Even among assistive devices, people have their things; some like dogs, others canes, still others echolocation, some nothing, some braille, some hardware, some software. Under the umbrella of “blindness”, there are a select few who are in complete darkness (10 percent, like our friend and Youtube talent Joy Ross), others who have light perception, some shapes, some puzzle pieces, some just in daylight, some just at night, some large print, and even some who “drive blind“.

2014-2015:  The blind community has a strong, growing voice.  There is a growing voice in the blind community that is influencing culture.  This is the year we really started noticing an explosion of public awareness in the media: bloggers started popping up left and right (blind mamas, blind papas, blind professionals, you name it!).  These people have always existed, but it seems they have been growing in their public presence and confidence.  A major magazine, Real Simple, feature spread on blind moms with guide dogs, and reality tv producers have been seeking out blind talent.

Most of these efforts are positive and have the intention of educating the public, though this rise in media attention has created some controversy over whether people are overdoing it in regard to “inspiration”.  We in the blind community are, after all, just living our lives, and humans have a way of adapting to most anything.  It can be confusing when simple daily tasks are hailed as “amazing”.  On the other hand, there are unique challenges when it comes to sight loss, and the human capacity to overcome and move forward is, in itself, inspiring.  From our perspective, if it can help inspire others to do the same in their own lives, whatever their unique challenge happens to be, then it is noteworthy.

IMG_36472015-2016:  Shame is a common theme.  We used to think that we were the only ones who tried to hide our vision loss.  We have since discovered that this is actually a common phenomenon among people losing their eyesight.  Fortunately, amazing organizations such as the San Francisco Lighthouse for the Blind, are recognizing that this is an issue and have training, counseling and other programs available to help people get past the stigma.  “For those with changing vision, the daunting part is not usually the fear of darkness, but.the fear of admitting that you’re different.” – San Francisco Lighthouse For the Blind & Visually Impaired

 

The Tools We Need

Visual art has never come to me intuitively, the way writing has, though I don’t think I can attribute this entirely to my eyesight.  I’ve met talented artists who are legally blind and still have a strong sense of spatial awareness on paper, and there are artists who are color blind who use brilliant color schemes.  For me, however, any type of art class has always felt like a foreign land in which I don’t understand the cultural norms.
So I surprised myself a bit when I signed up to take a painting class. Continue reading “The Tools We Need”

Book Review: Mobility Matters: Stepping Out in Faith

If you’ve ever wondered what the process of learning to use a cane might entail, then there is a book you should add to your personal library.  Mobility Matters: Stepping Out in Faith by Amy L. Bovaird provides a detailed account of an adventurous woman’s journey from denial to blind rehab services, including braille and cane training.  

Audiobook  Continue reading “Book Review: Mobility Matters: Stepping Out in Faith”

DoubleVisionBlog Fight Song

View and share “DoubleVisionBlog Fight Song” Video on Facebook

Hi DoubleVisionBlog friends! I’ve been secretly working on this video for the past month as a surprise for Jenelle. Happy Blindness Awareness Month!

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In honor of Blindness Awareness month this October, Joy shares her journey of shame, vulnerability and courage. With both humor and insight, Joy and her twin sister, Jenelle, share their stories of life with RP at doublevisionblog.com. Continue reading “DoubleVisionBlog Fight Song”

Is Jenelle Getting a Guide Dog?

The anticipation was almost more than I could bear. I had been planning the surprise for 4 months, and it seemed August 8th would never arrive. I nearly ruined the surprise on several occasions, and it began to feel like it could burst out of my mouth at any moment without warning. I told very few people about the surprise in hopes of containing it.

Finally, the date arrived, and my younger sister, Jillian, and I set out on our trip to unveil the big surprise. Continue reading “Is Jenelle Getting a Guide Dog?”

Free

My locket always reminds me to grab my cane. But I don’t always remember to wear my locket.  When my friend Emily first gave it to me last summer, in memory of a crazy, divine experience , I wore it a lot, and I carried my cane a fair amount.  But over time, I’ve come up with all kinds of excuses not to wear my locket.  None of them good ones.

What if it falls off my neck, and I lose it?  What if it doesn’t go with my sweatpants?  What if I become the weird locket girl who doesn’t even shower without it? Continue reading “Free”