Originally posted on Bold Blind Beauty on June 7, 2016
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“I don’t understand why I didn’t get the job,”

I said to my supervising teacher, “You gave me such stellar reviews from my student teaching, and I feel like I described my teaching style and goals really well in my interview. I have a 4.0 GPA, and the students loved me!  Did the principal say anything to you about why he didn’t hire me?”

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Photo Credit: Morry Angell, Guide Dogs for the Blind

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Originally posted on Bold Blind Beauty on May 3, 2016
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Freedom in Acceptance

Jenelle & JoyIt’s 1983, and two curly-haired 5 year-old girls sit on their dad’s lap, staring into a screen of flashing lights.  They hold their heads back as doctors place stinging drops into their matching hazel eyes, and they wonder what all the fuss is about. Continue reading

(with adaptations for moms who are visually impaired)

I’m not a crafty mom.  I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m not even on Pinterest.  I’m usually too tired for big projects that involve more than one or two steps.  I also have a visual impairment, which doesn’t help.  Basically, if I can do this with my kids, so can you!
Why the sudden desire to do a homemade project?

Well, I recently started homeschooling my 2 creative, amazing daughters, ages 6 and 9, and I feel like they deserve some fun, interactive projects. Continue reading

photo description: Joy speaking on stage at GDB Legacy Luncheon with Roja by her side.

photo description: Joy speaking on stage at GDB Legacy Luncheon with Roja by her side. [Photo credit: Morry Angell, Guide Dogs for the Blind]

Just when I thought Joy was finished with all her little surprises (i.e. relocating me from Santa Barbara to Chicago, dressing me in lion costumes, and parading my stellar guide work skills all over schools), she pulled out the big one: a stage.  Yep, an actual stage with a bunch of humans staring at me (more than usual, that is).

The bonus?  It was back where I was born. In fact, we even stayed in a room that looked just like the one I first met Joy in, back in training (if I weren’t at the top of my game, I would have been nervous she was exchanging me!  But nope, she needs me too much. Yep, I’m THAT good….) Continue reading

Happy Mother’s Day from Doublevision Blog! In honor of Mother’s Day, we are sharing words of wisdom from mothers we respect and admire.

“Mothers don’t need to “see” in order to love; we simply “feel” it.  The depths of emotion we have for our children takes root within each of our souls. Never let another person’s words cause you to doubt this unshakable bond. Always remember, loving your child requires no “special” accommodations.”
Holly Bonner
Staten Island, NY
www.blindmotherhood.com

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As a mother, I am guilty of comparing myself to other mothers, and sometimes judgement follows.  Sometimes it is judgement towards myself (Why can’t I be more patient with my kids like that other mother at the park?), and sometimes my judgement is directed towards another mom (Wow, she sure lets her kids run the show!) But when I’m in a good healthy state of mind, I focus on learning from the mothers around me.  I observe their empathetic language and attempt to use that same tone when my child is having a meltdown rather than fueling the tantrum with my own frustration.  I observe how they put away their cell phones, and get down in the sand to build a sand castle with their child at the beach, and I feel encouraged to fully engage with my own children.

Most recently, I’ve been learning some amazing lessons about motherhood from a fellow blogger, Holly Bonner, author of “Blind Motherhood”.  I’ve gleaned so much from this honest, witty, unstoppable mama, and knew instantly that our readers would want to meet her, too.  If you haven’t met before, I’m pleased to introduce you to Holly Bonner.

Blind Motherhood by Holly Bonner

Welcome to Blindmotherhood.com! I’m Holly Bonner, a 36 year old, wife, mother and social worker! After completing chemotherapy for breast cancer in 2012, I became legally blind from a neurological condition. Thrust into a much darker world, I went from the role of social work practitioner to the part of disabled client in need of services. With months of training in technology, mobility and ADL (adult daily living) skills; I finally began to feel like I could confidently rejoin the land of the living with my trusty white cane by my side. Then, what doctors had said was impossible happened, I got pregnant! Doctors….LOL! What do they know, right? Continue reading

12376787_10153747095434807_2114032454473502200_nLike most guide dogs, Roja does great on car rides, though our family’s recent 4-day excursion from Illinois to California really put us to the test.  As we enter spring and summer and the season of road trips, I thought I’d pass along some travel tips I learned along the way!

1. Prep and pack well.  Lay the essentials out the night before you leave, to ensure you don’t forget any of your precious pup’s items.  Be sure to include:  food, dog bowls (collapsible travel bowls if you’re tight on car space), dog bed/rug/crate (depending on preference and space, harness, leash, grooming kit for teeth and hair, small toy or bone, gentle leader, a tie down, and poop bags.  You may also want to pack special high-reward treats if you foresee transition issues.  And if you don’t already have bottled water packed for yourself, make sure to at least pack some for your pup.  You can certainly get water at rest stops, but if you’re trying to make good time on the road, the stops might be few and far between.

I did remember to pack most of Roja’s items but I made the mistake of not condensing them to one bag, which made it difficult to locate items, such as the grooming kit, when I needed them.

2. Avoid areas that may contain ticks and fleas. One of my friend’s pet dogs contracted Lyme disease from a tick at a rest area en route to California a few years ago.  As you encounter new terrain, especially at rest stops in rural or wooded areas, ticks can be a concern.  The risk of pesky fleas or even Lyme diseases may be higher than you’re used to in your area.  If your  dog is  pretty good at relieving on pavement, that’s your best bet.  If they prefer grass or shrubs, try to stay close to the building and in lower, mowed grass.

3. Be wary of shady gas stations in the middle of nowhere. We learned this in the middle of New Mexico.  As we started to exit our Subaru, a stray dog came running up to Roja, and since my husband wasn’t sure whether this dog would be friendly with Roja (or was even vaccinated!), he quickly put Roja back in the car, closing her tail in the door.  Since Roja is so quiet, we didn’t even know it was stuck until our 6-year-old, who was next to Roja, started sobbing.  “Mom! Rojas tail is in the door!” Since my husband was using the restroom, I opened the door to free her tail, which was just enough time for the mangy stray to jump in our car.  I tried to lift the filthy dog out, but it wriggled out of my grasp.  I opened the door, and both dogs ran out.  I finally reigned Roja back in and then used the bathroom, which had the distinct smell of a barnyard.  Oh, and the gas pumped so slow at this station that it had only reached $5.00 worth of guess in the 20 minutes we were there!  And that’s what you may encounter in rural New Mexico!

4. Doggie breath mints and water should be within arm’s reach at all times. Roja doesn’t typically have very bad breath, at least not like some of my friends’ dogs.  But the combination of anxiety over traveling and the disruption of regular feeding/water schedule must produce some extra toxins because her breath was rancid!  Roja was directly behind me, at my daughters’ feet, and I could always tell when her velvety head had poked up between our seats to say hello, as the stench of dead fish wafted over the center console.  Unfortunately, I did not pack any greenies. I did brush her teeth one night at the hotel, which helped, but I wished I had something to just pop in her mouth in the car!

By day two, I learned to have her water dish with a bottle of water at my feet so that I could put water on the console at a moment’s notice, as she didn’t always want to drink at rest stops but then would end up panting between stops.  Originally, we were keeping her dog bowl in the very back behind the suitcases, which was impossible to access unless we were stopped.

 

Hope these are helpful!  Happy travels!

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My friends have always played an important part in my journey through life.  In college, time with girlfriends often involved dressing up in black pants paired with a flirty top to explore Seattle’s night life.  Over the years it evolved into meeting up for martinis after work, and flying to Vegas for bachelorette parties.  These days, we often opt for yoga pants and a bottle of wine in someone’s quiet, childless living room while pretending to discuss a book that no one actually finished reading.  And I picture my future self with these same “girls”, sharing photos of grandkids while drinking tea following a 4 o’clock supper date.   Continue reading

Roja YogaIf you or a loved one has a disability, you’ve probably encountered many wonderful, helpful people. You’ve probably also encountered some, shall, we say, overly helpful folks?

Being legally blind, I usually have no shortage of helpers while out in public with my cane or guide dog. “Can I get that door for you?” “Can I grab some silverware from the buffet for you?” “May I assist you with reading that menu?”

Most of these are what I’d consider helpful gestures, and I sometimes take people up on their offers if my hands are full juggling children and leashes, and other times I politely decline the offer, and all is well. Every once in awhile, however, I find myself in a code red, help-aholic situation.

Like a couple weeks ago at yoga. I was attending a class with an absolutely amazing teacher at a studio that I practice at regularly. I arrived two minutes before class was starting, which really isn’t ideal when you have a guide dog to get situated, a mat to roll out and yoga props to gather. To make matters more challenging, the tiny room was packed with people.

Upon our arrival, everyone began maneuvering themselves around to make room for us, and a couple of my classmates who know me well offered to grab my props while I got situated.

“Oh my gosh, thank you!” I breathed a sigh of relief. Just then a voice popped up next to me.

“Hi, I’m Marcy and I went ahead and folded your blanket and put your water bottle at 2 o’clock. I also took your dog’s leash and tucked it behind her because I didn’t want it to get in your way.”

“Oh thanks. Nice to meet you.” I stammered, slightly taken aback that she had touched my things without asking. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, however, so maybe she just saw others being helpful and thought she’d do the same. I got into Child’s Pose and hoped for the best.

“Today we’re going to start with a gentle twist,” stated Greg, our instructor, “Begin by crossing your right leg over…..”

“Here, like this!” Marcy interrupted loudly, touching my right leg. “Put that leg over the other one and wrap it around.”

Twists usually are confusing for me (so much leg criss-crossing, and I don’t listen very well for a blind chic!), but I usually eventually figure it out. Apparently I was not getting into the pose fast enough for Marcy.

I quickly got into the correct twist position, but then missed Greg’s next instruction while Marcy was loudly instructing me, and I couldn’t see what pose Greg was moving into.

“We are on all fours now!” Marcy did not excel at whispering.

Oh, Table Pose. I knew that one. “Now we’re going to go into a gentle downward dog,” Greg continued. Oh good, I know how to do that well, but I usually like to do a cat/cow or two before getting into my down dog. Greg always encourages his students to listen to what their bodies are telling them to do, so I make slight variations and add in poses at times.

“Downward dog is where you….” Marcy began. She was not okay with variations.

“Yeah I know,” I whispered, trying to get back into my yoga zone as I moved fluidly into my down-dog. There, now Marcy could see that I knew what I was doing.

But her little “helpful” interjections continued. I found myself trying to speed quickly into each pose, for fear that Marcy would loudly offer her assistance if I didn’t high-tail it into Warrior I. Occasionally, instructors come around and readjust students, and I really don’t mind when they adjust me or give reminders. They are, after all, the instructors, and most do it in a way that still honors the individual practice. But Marcy was not only not honoring my practice….she was missing out on her own.

“Remember to play with these poses and have fun,” Greg told our class gently, “It’s your own, individual practice, so try to go inward and sense what your body needs.”

Yo, Marcy, he’s talking to you.

But Marcy was too busy observing my Wounded Warrior to listen to Greg’s gentle reminder.

I, too, was having trouble focusing. All I could think about was how pushy Marcy was with her help. And the feelings it brought up were very familiar to me. It didn’t feel like Marcy’s help was about me at all. The whole thing felt like it was very much about her need to be a helper.

Marcy had a need to be needed, and I was filling that need perfectly.

I’d like to say that I came up with some catch-all, perfect phrase to get Marcy off my case (or, more specifically, off my mat), but I couldn’t quite stop in the middle of class to hold a help-aholic intervention. If I was going to enjoy the rest of my yoga class, I knew I needed to do what the mighty yogis teach: Be mindful and ignore the chatter. Not just Marcy’s outward chatter, but the conversation going on in my mind about Marcy and how annoyingly helpful she was.

I began to listen only to the calming music playing through Greg’s iPod. I closed my eyes and listened to his instructions, and when Marcy would start doing her thing, I simply focused entirely on my breath and tuned her out. I didn’t whisper thank you. Nor did I whisper shut up. I just inhaled and exhaled. And you know what? After awhile, I didn’t have to ignore anything because Marcy had ceased her chatter.

I think there is a time to confront and be straightforward with people. But I also think there is a time to be quiet and remember that their issue with over-helping has nothing to do with you. It’s about them, and sometimes you need to allow them the space to figure it out on their own. After all, isn’t that what you want from them?

Thank you, Marcy, for teaching me an important lesson. Namasté.

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Last week, following the popular “8 Things” post we were contacted by the amazing folks at AMI Radio, based in Toronto, for a 10-minute LIVE chat! on Retinitis Pigmentosa.  With 5 million listeners, these guys don’t mess around!  Clearly, the hosts had done their research on our site, resulting in some fantastic questions! Joy did the interview, but they still found a way to include a few sound bytes from Jenelle’s “Thank you notes” Enjoy!