Lessons in Decompression

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I have never been good at letting go. Tense conversations, goodbyes, friendship changes, job transitions, moves….all keep me awake at night far longer than it seems they should.
So it wasn’t entirely surprising when my plane touched down in Seattle 2 weeks ago, and I couldn’t immediately let go of real life to enter vacation mode.
I’ve been in this quaint, picturesque Bavarian-themed village in the Cascade Mountains since the beginning of July, and I’m only just starting to decompress. Prior to leaving for this trip, there were a lot of stresses at home and I pictured this serene, oasis trip in which I just played and played with my children without worrying about my typical daily to-do lists. I had this vision of myself, unplugged and ultra-present. Continue reading “Lessons in Decompression” →

Liebster Award

liebsterawardIf there’s one thing writers really need, it’s community with other artists. I have this amazing friend, Emily, who shares my love of writing. We belong to the same writer’s group and have fun drinking tea and/or wine over topics involving creativity, editing, publishing, and the like. She writes a hilarious blog and recently nominated me for a Liebster award. Thanks Emily, for your encouragement and for being someone with whom I can share writing joys and frustrations and engage in super-nerdy conversations.

As part of my acceptance of the Liebster, I had to answer the following 11 questions from Emily: Continue reading “Liebster Award” →

Saying Goodbye to My Grandma Jean the Queen

The call came at 3am Wednesday. Grandma is dying. She probably won’t make it through the night. If you want to say your final goodbye, you should come.

The lights at grandma’s house were dim when we arrived, and the air was heavy. Short, labored breaths rattled out of her lungs, sounding like a child with croup. She lay tucked under blankets in a hospital bed in the middle of her living room; my cousin leaning over her, inserting morphine tablets under her tongue to keep her comfortable.

Being on hospice for the past week, the call had not been entirely surprising, though she had been so alert and responsive the prior few days that we had thought it might be weeks until the end.  But here we were, in the middle of the night, beginning our final farewells.  Some family members sat perched on the queen-sized bed near her hospital bed, while others lingered on the couch in the adjoining family room, taking turns leaning over her and whispering words of love and gratitude. Continue reading “Saying Goodbye to My Grandma Jean the Queen” →

Welcoming the Muse: Trying on the Life of an Artist

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I’ve always been hesitant to call myself an artist, or even more specifically, a writer. Since I don’t earn a living writing and am not famous, two of our culture’s main measurements for success, I’ve never thought my art really matters.
But watching some artist interviews during “The New Artists” series at The Orchard the past few weeks has helped me realize that my art does matter.  It not only matters in my life, but it matters in the lives of others, no matter if it’s just a handful of readers or tens of thousands. Continue reading “Welcoming the Muse: Trying on the Life of an Artist” →

How We Approach People: A Follow-up Conversation

One of the things I love about writing is that it helps me organize and connect the many thoughts, facts, emotions and analysis scurrying around in my head.  Basically, it helps me make sense of the world as I’m experiencing it.

Sometimes these connections happen while I’m working on an essay, but other times they solidify after I’ve already posted, often through follow-up conversations and comments people post.

There were definitely some reactions from friends and readers regardling my last post on my recent travels.   Through these conversations, I came to some realizations.    Continue reading “How We Approach People: A Follow-up Conversation” →

What Newborns, Airports and Eye Contact All Have In Common

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So the doublevision family has grown, as Jenelle welcomed Baby Ben into the family on Easter Day!
 
I just had the privilege of heading out to the northwest to spend a week with my favorite twin and her new, little (well big– now almost 10 lbs!) bundle, along with her adorable, active preschooler and amazing husband.
 
Obviously, traveling from the Midwest up to the Cascade mountains took some traveling. And if there’s anything that stresses me out about traveling, it’s airports. While I’m still stubborn about not using my cane, airports are one place that I really won’t enter without my trusty colored stick. Continue reading “What Newborns, Airports and Eye Contact All Have In Common” →

Old Habits Dying Hard

Being misunderstood is something we really don’t like as humans, especially if we are of the people-pleasing variety.

Beginning in middle school and continuing through college and into adulthood, I have heard comments such as, “I waved to you but you walked right by me”, “you totally dissed me”, “Why don’t you ever say hi to me when I pass by?” and so on.

Some of my most embarrassing/humiliating/humbling moments include scenarios surrounding these phrases. These moments include missing high-fives, not acknowledging someone i’ve known for awhile, calling a long-time friend by the wrong name when I first see them, and failing to shake people’s hands. And these are just the scenarios I am aware of, and many times because other people have told me about my faux pas after-the-fact. I am sure there are countless other incidents that I am unaware of. Continue reading “Old Habits Dying Hard” →

Mother Wisdom

Here is another wise guest post from our mom, Judy.  She’s always been such a great example to us of being positive, and it’s amazing to see that she continues to challenge her own thinking, even her positivity.  I often hear from friends how their parents seem so “stuck in their ways” and how many of them aren’t willing to work on personal growth or challenge themselves beyond a certain point, so it’s refreshing to see our mom model this.  

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Have you ever experienced quick, flippant responses like “It’s all good!” or “Perfect!” after sharing a difficult circumstance with someone?  It seems they are harmless comments as we respond affirmatively and positively.  Generally, being positive is a very good thing to be. But, what if things are not at all good?  What if someone is struggling?   What happens when we don’t really listen and quickly jump to ‘Count your blessings,’ ‘Don’t worry, be happy,’ or ‘Think positive!’  Does it minimize what the person is experiencing?   Continue reading “Mother Wisdom” →

Sometimes I Like Cold Weather

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I once tried to use the word “coldth” in a Creative Writing class in high school. My teacher crossed it out in large, red letters and wrote “Not a word!”, which annoyed me because, duh, I know it’s not a real word, but I was trying to be “creative” and make up a new word that would describe a cold feeling that is actually comforting. Obviously, I failed. So here’s another attempt:

Living just outside Chicago, everyone dreads our icy winters. Being that I walk everywhere, I don’t exactly look forward to spending 20 minutes bundling up the kids and myself and then maneuvering the stroller around snowbanks, slush puddles and irresponsible neighbors’ un-shoveled driveways (okay, fine, it’s usually our snowy driveway!)

But even with the dread of a cold, long winter ahead, I must admit that I felt a little giddy the first time the temperatures dipped down in the 30s in November. While I loved our frequent trips to the park this warm December and first week of January, I feel a nervous excitement over the recent falling temps. Some of you will stop reading now because you are so irritated that I would even hint at appreciating freezing weather. But I just have to say it.

Sometimes cold temperatures bring warmth to a home in the same way that hard times bring families together.

It’s an excuse to crank up the heat, light a fire, drink hot tea, snuggle closer…

It takes a good freeze to kill the pests, such as ants, and for some reason my house always seems cleaner in the winter when there’s no moisture or humidity in the air. And even thought I know people tend to get sicker in the winter, a good freeze seems to kill some of the germs floating around, which could be the reason influenza and stomach bugs have been rampant this winter in the Midwest, according to many healthcare professionals. And I truly have enjoyed bopping around town without a coat nor icy sidewalks these past couple months. But it’s time to freeze off a few germs.

It’s also time for some brisk walks– the kind that wake us out of our sluggish, January slumber. “Blue Monday” is coming up on the 21st. Apparently, psychologists have come up with a formula based on the amount of days after Christmas, the weather, the amount of sun, etc. that designates the 21st as the most depressing day of 2013 for people. So, knowing that I have the potential to be at my lowest on this day, I know that fresh air and exercise are remedies for me.

And there’s really nothing like frosty air to cool me off when I am heated up over something. Like yesterday, when everything seemed to be going wring, leading to a frustrating climax in which I encountered a difficult phone representative while trying to file an insurance claim. The conversation left me with hot, angry tears by the end of it, and since it was time to pick my youngest up from preschool a few blocks away, I had to wipe my tears away and pull myself together. It had been such a draining day in general that I really worried I wouldn’t be able to get out of my angry, sad funk. But as soon as my feet met cold pavement and my lungs inhaled arctic air, I felt my insides relax. The air cooled the heat of my anger, and I felt refreshed, heavy coat, mittens and all. A spring, summer or autumn day could not have revived me the way this winter one did. While I’m glad it’s not winter all the time, I welcome it for now.