The Teacher Becomes the Student: 3 Unexpected Lessons Learned in Summer School

Picture this: identical 7-year-old twin sisters racing into their playroom after swim lessons, brown curly hair still dripping wet from the Centennial beach. Damp beach towels sprawl carelessly across the floor (sorry dad), as mirror images thoughtfully arrange dolls and stuffed animals into “swim lesson groups” in order to “teach” their “students” how to swim. This was our daily summer routine, and we REALLY got into it, demonstrating the back stroke for bugs bunny (Bugsy) and ensuring Raggedy Ann and Andy kept their WHOLE faces in the water while floating. Teaching what we had just learned delighted us  

Teaching may just be in our blood, as both our parents and many aunts/uncles/cousins were teachers at various points in their careers. Or perhaps we were vaguely aware that showing our cabbage patch kids how to do frog leg kicks actually strengthened our own swimming abilities.  

Here we are, several decades later, teaching in different capacities the skills we ourselves are still learning. This summer, I contracted with WA State Department of Services for the Blind (DSB) Youth Services to provide weekly mental health workshops to teens. It was fun designing the curriculum with many of the Social Emotional Learning strategies I learned in my Breathe for Change certification program, along with mental health skills from my work as a clinical social worker. Once again, I found myself learning as I was teaching because the students were engaging and intuitive about their mental health.  

While I gravitated towards evidenced-based approaches to improving mental health, my students offered me fresh perspectives merely by being themselves. Here are 3 Lessons I learned this summer that I will add to my personal mental health toolkit.  

1.   Laughter is Key: I spent the first few weeks with the students focusing on distress tolerance skills such as breathing techniques and mindful movement exercises. I asked students to practice these skills between weekly workshops and invited them to share what they learned with the group. At the final workshop, one student shared that breathing techniques sometimes helped relieve anxiety, but that she noticed the biggest shift when another student told her a funny story in the midst of a rough day. Even as she shared this, she began to giggle, which felt contagious in the best way. Laugh more, feel better. It’s simple and I need more of that in my daily life. 

2.   Sometimes It’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it: One of my favorite moments from the summer workshops was when we were working on creating mantras. A mantra is a word or short phrase that can be used to motivate, grow self-awareness, and encourage perseverance. Neuroscience teaches us that the more we repeat and practice the exact same phrase, the more likely it is to become an automatic thought and belief. I gave students examples of mantras such as “Just keep breathing” or “This moment will pass, and I am strong”. One student asked if he could say his mantra with an Italian accent. I have been teaching the art of mantra-making for quite some time, and NO ONE had ever asked me this. I enthusiastically encouraged him to share his mantra with his Italian accent. Now I wish this was a Vlog instead of a Blog so you could hear him saying “I am doing the best I can!” with the BEST Italian accent I have heard since my trip to Italy in 2009. I have adopted this student’s mantra, Italian-accent and all into my toolkit and use it whenever I am struggling.  

3.   It’s Okay to “Pass”: Maintaining a “trauma-informed” approach is critical to working with human beings and was a primary focus of my education at University of Washington. One key factor to trauma-informed approaches is offering choice. While my goal is to engage all students and encourage participation, I also offer students the choice to “pass” during sharing time and activities. I observed myself feeling slightly irritated when the same few students were choosing “pass” week after week. “How are they supposed to learn anything if they don’t participate?!” I thought to myself a few times during week 3 and 4. I allowed myself to get curious about my feelings of frustration and with this curiosity came a deeper knowing – these students are learning something very critical: They have agency. Perhaps they have rarely experienced the empowerment that stems from choice. I reflected on all the areas of my life where I have the choice to say “pass” and perhaps out of obligation/guilt/pressure, I don’t choose this enough. And just this week, I was asked to volunteer for yet another committee that I really don’t have the bandwidth for. Without hesitation, I replied “Pass” and instead of a wave of guilt sweeping over me, I felt a wave of relief and empowerment.

When we take time to reflect on what the students in our lives are teaching us, the lessons tend to sink in more deeply. Who are the students in your life? What are they teaching you?